Xanthe Justice VS Stewie Griffin
Description: The two tiny toddler terrors ride their trikes in for a One Minute Melee! Stewie Griffin from Family Guy, the confirmed gay (from a issue of Playboy no less) infant genius VS. Xanthe Justice, the feminist leader of the Sisterhood! Will Stewie trigger Xanthe Justice, or will she be one person closer to a men-free zone? Interlude: TWO FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! 1! MINUTE! MELEE! *Start* SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (Player One moves their cursor over to Xanthe Justice and selects her.) (Player Two moves their cursor over to Stewie Griffin and selects him.) (Pop-up text appears) LET'S ROCK? --> Alrighty!' '/ Uh, one sec... ("Alrighty!" is selected as the screen fades to black) Pre-Fight Music: (Family Guy End Credits) Stewie was riding down on the sidewalk, with Brian walking right next to him on two legs. They were entering the park for Stewie to test out a new kind of candy steroid he had in his backpack. "Alright Brian, here's the plan; you go to the mothers there, signal to me which children there are her's and as she either falls for you or sprays you with pepper-spray, I'll give the kid the treat and test out what happens," Stewie briefed, causing Brian to roll his eyes. "That sounds incredibly arbitrarily just to test something ou-" the dog's sentence was cut short as Stewie tossed a tennis ball inside of the park. "Oh my god that I don't believe in, that was a bouncy tennis ball!" Brian exclaimed in excitement, getting on all fours before running after it, barking wildly. "Ha ha, yes it is Brian...Now, who to try it on?" Stewie pondered, looking around for a test subject. Meanwhile, with Brian, the tennis ball just stopped right in between 2 signs that Brian failed to read, and if he did, he would of saw that they said "Friend Zone" and "Women Only Zone". "Ah ha ha ha, yes...Come to daddy, baby..." Brian happily spoke, reaching in between the signs to grab it... Only to set off a alarm that he had no idea about... Music: (The Mis Ed-Ventures: Track 8) "The dick alarm!" A feminine voice was heard shouted, as Brian quickly got surrounded by what appears to be females on trikes in helmets. The leader of them, Xanthe Justice, pulled out a wanted poster as she examined the face on it and Brian's face, seeing a match. Wanted, dead and only dead! Brian Griffin Hit sought on him for countless deeds of atrocities against women and helping the Patriarchy. Reward for the body: $50,000 Bound Set By: John Enter and Glenn Quagmire "This is our lucky day girls, we got the man, or in this case, dog himself!" Xanthe Justice declared, as she launched a net on top of him and pinned him down, pulling out a pole and smacking him in the face. "OW! What hell is going on, you bitches?!?" Brian yelled, seemingly getting Stewie's attention as he turned to face him surrounded by the Sisterhood. "Now, what the deuce is this?" Stewie wondered, getting off his bike and preparing his laser gun. "Brian Griffin, you are being charged with all your crimes committed in Quahog. Your bounty money will be used to help fund the Sisterhood's takeover on the Patriarchy; for great jus-" *PEW!* Music: (Road To The Multiverse Music 2) Her speech was cut off as a loud scream was heard from the Sisterhood, as one of the members in the circle got vaporized, leaving only behind a crater where her tricycle once was. "What the-who did that?!?" Xanthe demanded, but before she knew it, every other Sisterhood member was shot and vaproized. "Shields!" she yelled, as a energetic force field popped up around her in time before a laser was shot at her. As the dust cleared, showing Stewie Griffin aiming her down with one hand as he freed Brian with the other. "What are you planning to do with my dog, bitch?" Stewie asked, voice hinted with rage. "Why should I give a dudebro like you a answer, when you, oh, I don't know...KILLED MY FELLOW SISTER FEMINISTS?!?" Xanthe yelled, pissed at Stewie. "God, another one of you girls? Just stick with going on your tumblr blogs and writing blogs about how a man's presence triggers you," Stewie responded, rolling his eyes. "For your information, I already did that today," the feminist responded, hopping out of her tricycle as he prepared her pole. "But I didn't beat down a dudebro yet." "Oh, what are you gonna do? Strip for u-" Brian taunted as he got up, only for Xanthe to knock him back and down, causing him to get knocked. "Ah, nope; you're up Stewie..." the beagle decided before drifting off to where all KO'd people go to sleep, but wake up when they are better. Stewie nodded and put his gun away, readying his fists for her. Music: (Family Guy: Road To The Multiverse's final boss) "Bring it, you feminazi; I was on a decaying TV show for 5 or 6 seasons! I have nothing to lose now!" Stewie declared, prepping his fist as they were ready to block Xanthe's pole. May the best short person win...FIGHT! Sixty seconds! The baby's fist easily blocked the pole, as Xanthe tried to whack him from each side, but he blocked it from each angle. As she was reeling back for a whack, Stewie jabbed her in the face, surprising her and knocking her down, causing her to lose her grip on the pole. Stewie quickly grabbed it and tried to throw it away from them, but Xanthe caught on in time and they started kicking each other, with the other moving their body away in time. Xanthe head butted Stewie, which knocked him back, but he was far from down, as he literally kicked her ass as he kicked, well her ass, pushing her away from the pole but not her hands as she pulled herself back in on time, as she furrowed at Stewie even more than usual now. 50 seconds! "Rapist! Die you pig!" She called out, pushing the stick in a horizontal line before shoving it into his stomach, causing a grunt from him as he was pushed back, causing her enough time to get back onto her tricycle. Stewie saw this and quickly hopped onto his own tricycle and saw her riding towards him, firing blasters from her ride. Stewie swerved his way out of the shots and pulled his laser gun out, shooting fast shots at her. Just as Xanthe noticed the shots, she also got hit by them, knocking her around on the tricycle for a bit. "Shields!" she once again shouted, activating her force field as she literally took off from the ground as she starting flying above him, shooting at him as he was still dodging them. "Aw come on! That's like the one thing I don't have..." Stewie retorted, before seeing something in front of him. It was just a simple toy car, but with his other laser gun... 40 seconds! Stewie tossed the car up in the air, right in front of Xanthe Justice's tricycle, causing her to raise a eyebrow. He than fired a laser from a blue laser gun that expanded upon being taken out, and shot the toy car, causing it to grow rapidly. Xanthe's eyes widen, and drove her tricycle under it to dodge it. Even if she had the force-field up, that will surely stop her momentum... Stewie, seeing her nose dive to avoid it, rode up to her quickly while he still could, and lunged at the force field, gun ready to fire magnetic electronic pulse to get rid of it. "Slow motion diving at you..." ''Stewie declared, even if he was wasn't going slow, firing the MEP right onto her force field. This created a huge explosion, launching Stewie back a bit but stopping the tricycle hovercraft, having it stall in the middle of the now road they were fighting on, without a force field. Xanthe started it up again, but not before Stewie caught up, racing towards the tricycle. "Shields!" she yells again, activating them, but only a second too late as Stewie hopped inside the bubble in timeand started pummeling on her, accidentally starting up the tricycle again, launching them sky-high. '''30 seconds!' Stewie and Xanthe were dealing and taking equal damages, as they struggled around the small space they were locked in now. Stewie pulled out his magma gun and started firing it. Xanthe really didn't have much room to run except around him, dodging as much as she can, but her clothes started to succumb to the heat, even dropping off her. "Oh my, how much clothing can we remove from the naughty feminis-" Stewie started to taunt as he got hit with a uppercut by Xanthe, before grabbing onto his magma gun, struggling for it, before Stewie noticed something wrong. "Uh, hey...who's piloting this thing if we are both fighting?" the infant genius, except for hindsight, asked, as both him and Xanthe looked down, noticing the "sky" was brown with railroad tracks running up it... Only it was the ground... Both Stewie and Xanthe's eyes bulged open, screaming wildly as they gripped onto each other as they plummeted towards the ground, impacting creating a large crater right next the tracks, narrowly avoiding damage to them. To make matters worse, the shield just faded out. 20 seconds! Stewie and Xanthe both emerged from the crash safely among the smoke, as they both sighed in relief... Before they started pounding on each other again; heads bashing the other, fists punching the other in the gut... Before Stewie shot a uppercut at her, which she dodged and kicked Stewie back, taking a cylinder shaped part of her now wrecked trike (a rather sharp part as well), before rushing at Stewie, who got piled on by her, attempting to stab his head, moving out of the way just in time as he pushed her off with his feet. Gritting, Stewie took out his knife and started sword fighting, to the best a knife and small pipe can do anyway, with Xanthe's metal object on the railroads, hopping around and trying to avoid the electric rails and staying on the boards. Meanwhile, a train whistle is heard coming their way... 10 seconds! Xanthe jumped up, and aimed her pipe right for Stewie's head. Stewie dodged it with a leap backward, but tripped, narrowly missing the sides of the railroad. Xanthe took her chance, and got on top of him, trapping him. Even worse, he heard the train whistle only grow louder. 5 seconds! "You are an annoying dick, dudebro! Since you won't be refilling my tricycle with tears soon, die!" Xanthe declared, aiming her metal rod right across Stewie from ear to ear. Stewie was panicking, as he begins to see a train light in the distance. 4 seconds! Xanthe started her swing, as Stewie was thinking in a frenzy to stop her for some time, to shock her to... "A-ha!" Stewie verbally gasped, freeing his arm with his knife still held onto him. The train itself is becoming more and more visual to him. 3 seconds! Stewie blocked Xanthe's attack in time, thrusting the metal pipe towards the electric part of the railing, shocking her and Stewie, who was underneath her, as he heard the now ear splitting train horn. 2 seconds! Struggling, Stewie managed to knock the now shocked feminist off him with his feet and towards the train, who she had failed to notice, and was definitely too late, as the train was still at high speeds, and only twenty boards away from her, and she was still electrified from the railings, especially now that her bare feet, thanks to Stewie's magma gun burning magma gun, was shocking her now. 1 second! Stewie got up quickly and jumped out of the train just as it ran down Xanthe Justice, barely missing the baby genius himself as he rolled along the dirt ground right next to the tracks, seeing the train speed off right where he once was. KO! Post Fight: Stewie got up and dusted himself off, looking over at the smoke the train passing over him made, sighing in relief as it was over. He was gonna go off to meet up with Brian again... Only to hear a scream of agony, as he looked into the smoke cloud to see who it was... And smirking once he saw Xanthe Justice, legs decapicated, as she barely survived her incident with the train. "Aw, fucking hell! Fuck men! Just fuck them all!" she declared, slamming her fist into the ground in defeat and rage. He walked over to her, feeling in his pockets for the candy steroid he made earlier. He went up to her head, and took off her now rather cracked and bruised helmet, and pulled her pigtail hair back, as his right foot was pressed against her back, forcing her down. "That's what happens when you mess with my dog, bitch!" Stewie shouted, shoving the candy into her mouth and forcing her to swallow it. "Ugh...drugged and beaten by a baby dudebro. Could this be any worse?" She wondered, only to realize that she shouldn't, as felt not only one thing wrong with her, but two things... Stewie noticed that not only had not only made her wet herself, but it also increased her breasts size immediately, going from a A cup to a DD cup. "Oh my, wonderful results! Now come on..." Stewie declared, stomping on her shoulders to keep her arms down, resulting in a cry of pain from her. "You are gonna fetch a great penny once you're sold on the deep net..." Stewie decided, laughing mercilessly as Xanthe could only cry, defeated and humiliated... Meanwhile, in the shadows, a red small pyramid with a eye and wings watched on, and back in a fortified building, was the devil himself in a business suit, smirking at what he saw. "Oh my, I gotta win her once she goes for sale..." a smirk formed as he spoke in a dark tone. "And send the little kid a thank you card with some gear; he could be a great hit-man for me in the future..." Results: This melee's winner is... *Stewie shoots to the left, than the right, finishing up by shooting in the center* Stewie: Victory is mine, bitches! Stewie Griffin! Category:What if? One Minute Melees Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Carnivalia's ringmaster Category:'Anti-Heroes' themed One Minute Melees Category:'Battle of the Genders' themed One Minute Melees Category:Adult vs Child themed One Minute Melee